We all make mistakes

Some just may start later than others

As humans, we all make mistakes - we fail big and small and hopefully understand that is a part of life.

I am curious, when did you realize that mistakes are normal and healthy and even good and necessary? I know I was much older that I should have been.

My parents, though divorced with vastly different personalities and different expectations, I thought had a similar view on things like failure and messing up.
It wasn’t preferred, not problematic, as much as not preferred. We could work through things and I wasn’t necessarily scared to tell them if I did, but I definitely tried to avoid it. And I thought that was what was both of them wanted and expected - to do good, to be good, to make good choices.

When I was young - starting say pre-school age - my grandmother would ask me “what kind of behavior will we have today?” and the response I was taught was “impeccable and appropriate.” I couldn’t even say those words properly yet I imagine, but I sure answered correctly and tried to behave as such.

I was in my 30’s I believe when my dad and I were having a conversation and he said he was nervous when I was in high school I wasn’t making enough mistakes. He said that is a time when you learn how to make mistakes and keep going - they feel real enough that you make better choices, but they aren’t long lasting. If you don’t learn early enough, you end up making really big mistakes too late.

I told him I wish I had known he felt that way then. I didn’t think mistakes were really “acceptable” nor “appropriate.”

Sara Blakely (founder and creator of Spanx amongst other things) is famous for talking about failure. I love this excerpt from an interview:
"My dad used to ask my brother and me at the dinner table what we had failed at that week. I can remember coming home from school and saying, 'Dad, I tried out for this and I was horrible!' and he would high-five me and say, 'Way to go!' If I didn't have something that I had failed at, he actually would be disappointed."

I don’t blame my parents - like anyone, they were doing the best they could. And by all accounts, did a good job. And they definitely encouraged (and or made) me try plenty. But I wonder how different things would have been if I was okay with trying and failing, messing up and going again. With careers and relationships, with moving and trying different hobbies, how different - or similar - my life would look.

Thankfully more years have passed and I am more comfortable in trying and failing. Attempting and messing up. And trying again.

It may be a theme here so buckle up. Even writing here, who knows where it’s going.

But for once, the failure seems less scary than the not trying.

With my Mom in the "impeccable and appropriate" era

With my Dad at a USC football game in 2017; where 15 years prior I was in my making plenty, but not comfortable with, mistakes era

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