Last night I went to my book club at a small Vietnamese restaurant. We chose it because this month’s book was The Women, a superb novel by Kristen Hannah. The story is about the women, seen and unseen, that served in the Vietnam War and the women who were there for each other. (Highly recommend, p.s.)
The group is small, and it is for me mostly new friends - although one I have known since college, we have become close only since I moved back to Los Angeles. It is always such a treat to get together and discuss what we are reading, amongst many other things.
I am profoundly lucky that I have always had magnificent female friends. I know the saying that luck is what you make, which I hope means that I too am a good friend. But I do feel lucky about the extraordinary women in my life that have made me exponentially better. As I was thinking about the book, the evening and really all the greatest things in my life, it often comes back to the women.
So I wanted to say thank you.
Thank you to the women that are my newest friends and the best part of my Fridays, my tennis ladies. Thank you to my oldest friends - the ones who I have known since elementary school and high school and college. Those who threw me beautiful wedding showers and were there to celebrate my marriage, and who picked me up when I couldn’t do it myself as my marriage ended. The women who held me when my mother died and understood that my grief was complicated, because they understood and witnessed first hand that my relationship with her had been complicated.
The women who have received and responded to an ungodly amount of outfit texts as I get dressed for another first date, and the women who are there with giggles and laughs and a necessary martini as we debrief the hits and the misses that follow. The women that understand why I am crying when something ended, even if it never really got of the ground in the first place, as much as I may have wanted it to.
The women who allow me to monopolize any given conversation and even seem interested in the all too-much I have to say. The women who encourage any new venture I embark on, be it a cross-country move or bold idea or a writing project. The women who welcome me as an auntie to their babies, even if I’m really just mom’s friend or cousin. The women who let me take over their kitchen, because cooking in it and with them is far more fun than cooking in my own. The women who are happy to join when I suggest a walk instead of cocktails, when I suggest cocktails instead of yoga, and those who get out the Yeti’s when the combo of a wine-walk seems best.
The women that I am genuinely excited to see on work trips and the reason I reasonably like my job. The women that I see far less frequently than I would like, but no matter how long it has been, feels like no time has passed. The women that I get to vacation with and explore new cities with, be it a girls trip or family adventure. The women that are up early with me, and the (often different) women that want to stay out late.
The women that would happily proof-read this essay to make sure it doesn’t sound like I like women *too* much, but I’m refraining from sending to so they get the thanks not in rough draft form.
The women who share their wins and graciously allow us to celebrate them, and the women who share their biggest challenges, being open and vulnerable which allows for deeper connectedness. The women who challenge me and give me real feedback, whether I ask for it or even harder, when I don’t. The women who offer advice and the women who listen. The women who welcome light-hearted and frivolous conversations and some good gossip as much as being open about what is hard in our own lives and particularly in the world around us. The women who share their experiences and points of view so I can learn and grow from them.
I could continue the thank yous endlessly, but where would I end? Rather what I am hoping for every woman is that you see yourself somewhere here. And you see the relationships you have with your friends and mothers and sisters and grandmothers and aunts and cousins and nieces expressed above, and you have plenty to add to the list.
And if you too want to celebrate The Women, say thank you and I love you to some of your favorite women.
*Men if any of you are reading, we love you too, but this one is for the women. :)
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Let’s get allll the women together for a giant girls weekend PLEASE ;-)
Love this and you so much!
I love this - the topic and your writing style! Laughed and shed a couple of tears. Can't wait to read the book...